Recently, I inherited a couple of blocks of Crisco. I'm not much of a baker (monumental understatement), but decided I'd go all Bree-from-Desperate-Housewives so it wouldn't go to waste. However, after I donned my starched apron, I noticed that the ingredients included the dreaded "partially hydrogenated fat". Which, duh, I should have realized. I hate to toss it in the garbage or pass it along to a food bank, so I'm seeking other uses. From answers.yahoo, I've found that Crisco can: Remove lipstick and tar from clothing (because you know how often you end up with tar stains); Remove dirt from your hands (although it seems like then your hands would be greasy); Prevent diaper rash; Help historical battle re-enactors lubricate their musket balls (I know, I know, my mind went there too); Be used to create white clown make-up; Season cast-iron skillets; Be used to make bird feed (although that seems cruel to the birdies); Moisturize hands, feet and face; Be used as an, um, relationship aid; I'm thinking about dumping it on some newspapers and letting the kids go nuts, like they do with shaving cream. Or maybe creating the clown make-up and letting them go wild with that. Any other suggestions?